When reality hits you on the chin and its not much left to do besides stand aside and let it punch you until every bit on your body is bruised and chattered, what do we do so wrong in life that the world doesnt allow us to be that 100% satisfied, that 100% happy or that 100% sure that loneliness ain’t a door away from you, or that everything is slowly going wrong just that one step away.
Are realities in life always this painful, is life always this hard. Who does exactly knows the truth about it. People say God excist, but why does it let people suffer so much? If its true that he can cause miracles, why isn’t he helping people to be happy and comfortably stable to live. All we see if suffering surrounded by us on TV, when we see neighbours pass by, or even our families or even more so, ourselves.
It is ever so strange or every so difficult to wake up everyday and filling our minds with nothing else but how to support ourselves from all the shattered peaces we walk over every day. With all the regrets left over pouring down like a bat out hell!
Maybe is what life has laid down for a few of us. That no matter how much you can pick yourself up there is always twice the amount of stuff bringing ourselves down. Is my curse perphaps.
Don’t anyone think that i had enough of all this shit happening? I just feel like being alone because is the only way i ever known how to make myself feel better. But i hate being alone well i dont i hate the feeling of me being alone and thinkin that everyone enjoys my pain and just have fun and i get forgotten.
Baby steps… By myself, while i lay here with tears pouring down, not praying because GOD you dont excist to me! but hoping that sometime destiny will get on my side. Until then im just going to continue expectating a different downfall. And maybe if it allows it. A few smiles and joy around. Im not unhappy im just unlucky and i feel deflated. I dont want the matter to be pushed further, i dont want the matter to be spoken unless i allowe it…. I just want to lay here and forget that so many things had happen so close at once, and relax……
Peace!
Jessica's Pad 
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