Jessica’s Pad

When reality hits you on the chin and its not much left to do besides stand aside and let it punch you until every bit on your body is bruised and chattered, what do we do so wrong in life that the world doesnt allow us to be that 100% satisfied, that 100% happy or that 100% sure that loneliness ain’t a door away from you, or that everything is slowly going wrong just that one step away.

Are realities in life always this painful, is life always this hard. Who does exactly knows the truth about it. People say God excist, but why does it let people suffer so much? If its true that he can cause miracles, why isn’t he helping people to be happy and comfortably stable to live. All we see if suffering surrounded by us on TV, when we see neighbours pass by, or even our families or even more so, ourselves.

It is ever so strange or every so difficult to wake up everyday and filling our minds with nothing else but how to support ourselves from all the shattered peaces we walk over every day. With all the regrets left over pouring down like a bat out hell!

Maybe is what life has laid down for a few of us. That no matter how much you can pick yourself up there is always twice the amount of stuff bringing ourselves down. Is my curse perphaps.

Don’t anyone think that i had enough of all this shit happening? I just feel like being alone because is the only way i ever known how to make myself feel better. But i hate being alone well i dont i hate the feeling of me being alone and thinkin that everyone enjoys my pain and just have fun and i get forgotten.

Baby steps… By myself, while i lay here with tears pouring down, not praying because GOD you dont excist to me! but hoping that sometime destiny will get on my side. Until then im just going to continue expectating a different downfall. And maybe if it allows it. A few smiles and joy around. Im not unhappy im just unlucky and i feel deflated. I dont want the matter to be pushed further, i dont want the matter to be spoken unless i allowe it…. I just want to lay here and forget that so many things had happen so close at once, and relax……

Peace!

Need a job! is so boring staying at home all day!! Is like waiting for a miracle to happen…

Besides that im having a laugh talking to my favorite bunch of people! http://www.carryongaming.com!!!

Love you guys!!! 🙂

Im so tired is unbelievable, is not tired to fall asleep as that alone is made by my extremely huge headache i have! But im tired of finding jobs and not getting anywhere….

Blah blah blah blah… Is like im tired of not finding anything in my head right now. Is like i just want to be alone but i can’t! is weird.. I dont know…!

Well im off to do my hair now, thanks to Shaun for buying my colour! 😀 yay! So speak to ya’ll soon

Hello people, well i got my blog for free! yipee! Well i can write stuff whenever i want when i want 🙂 so thats cool :D, still can’t believe i fell asleep last night at like 9pm =O freaking crazyyyy! But im awake nice and early!

Peace!